Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Phase Shift

It is funny. Nowadays, the thought of finding your other half, getting a family and kids tends to come up in my mind. Me and my buddies were talking the other day about relationships and the progressions of life and it dawned on us that a few years back, this had never registered in our brains. All that was last time was: when our next LAN session was, how I fragged my friend with that head shot, or how my friend used that massive ass Pershing/Sherman tank group to support my Airborne infantry as we overran the enemy. And now? How's A doing with B? You're dating someone? I heard C is getting married soon. D's got a kid on the way. E broke up after 4 years. F just proposed! I wonder when is my turn. And so on and so forth...

Is there some biological clock that triggers these thoughts at a certain age? I find myself looking at couples and their kids at times and picturing myself in that situation. Noticing how that baby looks in worry as his mother disappears to the toilet, only to smile when she returns. Or how you'd imagine yourself bringing up your kid or having your own family gatherings. Or thinking of future plans... what you need to save on... how much would you need at this age... down-payments... loans... future holidays... Frankly speaking, I had never considered these things prior to graduation. Student life was all about getting through that semester, enjoying life, having fun with friends, not worrying about a boss or deadline to meet but instead, how you'd finish that lab report which you procrastinated and was due the following morning. I was at my alma mater some weeks back to run at the stadium after work and during then, the sight of a group of students playing touch rugby brought memories of my student life flooding back. The look on their faces was different - they played with full enjoyment, as if there was no worry tomorrow. When you've got a career, you get a different face.

After graduation however, 'life concerns' which I mentioned above started to fester in my mind. Almost automatically. As if it was 'time'. And this has only grown with time. I wouldn't think that I'm thinking too far ahead as it is only wise to have some plan and direction ahead. I haven't really thought of the details yet but the general idea is there and I'm just taking it as it comes. Whether it's an age thing or just me... well, it's just... funny. Hah.

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